I don’t like good dreams.
You read that right.
No, I don’t mean aspirations, nor the kind they prattle on about in that tacky musical you sing along to every half an hour.
I mean sleep dreams. Night dreams. Where vast glorious worlds are conjured up in random flashes of chemicals and electricity.
Where old friends and lost loved ones greet you and Disneyland is a walk away.
A sword. A kiss. A promise. A memory.
A smile.
Because the fundamental fact of dreams is that you’ll wake up.
The alarm screams, the eyelids groan,
The light comes through with a battering ram and the memories fade.
The morning’s all that’s left now.
The morning and the day ahead.
Bad dreams are a relief.
A sigh. A rush.
One moment you’re chased by the Faceless Man.
The next?
You’re awake. You’re free.
You won.
Every time.
Who knows?
Perhaps you’ll even conquer the monsters in your dreams.
You’ll slay vampires, raise an army, tackle your oppressor to the ground.
Dreams are where we skewer demons.
Wrestle the monsters without feeling all the pain.
The training ground for existence.
Don’t get me wrong,
There’s a place for good dreams.
Good dreams teach us how we really feel.
They unleash wonder.
They inspire that desire to do the impossible in the world of the physical.
But they hurt.
Dreams are temporary.
Life is too, but less so, and who knows what mysterious duvet we wake into after.
What are we to do with a life consumed by dreams?
A life where reality disappoints.
Perhaps there’s a solution.
Maybe instead of waking from good dreams, we can wake into them.
Maybe we can save our terrors and sorrows for the night
And open our eyes to the extraordinary.
Maybe we really can walk to Disneyland, hold that hand, talk to the friends and family we still have, tell them what they mean to us before it’s too late.
I hope so. I can dare to dream.
- HT
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